Sometimes I see people in a relationship, and I’m just like like you’re one of the most obnoxious people I know and you’re in a relationship?! And here I am forever alone. There must be something super off about me.

peregr1ne:

my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him

(via jewishsigh)

singanothertameimpalalala:

I think Alex Turner would look even better with a bow tie. JUST A BOW TIE; NOTHING ELSE.

(via who-the-fuck-are-arte-manques)

robertoluongo:

in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke

(via stupidthingsivedone)

I just realized that 42 seconds into 4:23 pm on August 4, 2015, that will be the only moment in our lifetime where the date is all of The Numbers from Lost in order: 4/8/15, 16:23:42

(Source: driveshaftgroupie, via e-pic)